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A Goddamned Guide to All These Goddamned Whale Bands (Part Two, O - W)
(Jack-o-'lantern pic via RealEstateZebra's Flickr)
Why "Whale," why now? Does it have something to do with our growing obesity epidemic? Are acts attempting to fight the long tail's fractured constituencies by invoking the planet's largest animal? Who knows, who cares! What matters is that my memory is a finite thing and I've no room in it for all 61 bands I've found hashing this particular tag. As we continue on with our exhaustive (but not comprehensive -- I left out Namu the Disco Whale, just to be mean) guide to contemporary bands calling themselves Whalesomething or Somethingwhale, you could consider harsher judgments as draconian measures made in the face of eroding mental real estate.
Or maybe it's just that my standards don't float. Remember! Every time you start a bad band, God mows down an innocent pedestrian.
Moving on.
Or, The Whale - Black Rabbit (mp3)(buy)
Who? Overstuffed San Francisco roots-rock band whips out Moby Dick's subtitle. Sometimes rousing, sometimes lovely, often very plain. They like their male/female vocal harmonies. It's a good thing that song up there eventually gets past sounding like "Cortez the Killer."
Choice Lyric: "Your heavy heart was loaded with ache. We've got no time to relive mistakes."
Choice Bio Quote: "The song 'Datura' is a rollicking ode to the hallucinogenic properties of jimson weed, but could just as easily be a description of the band itself."
Works: Or, The Whale (Seany, 2009), Light Poles and Pines (Seany, 2007)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Not a bad thing to keep in the back of your mind for when you need this sort of thing. At least until the next thing of this sort comes along.
Pilot Whale (1)(myspace)
Who? Some dude from Springfield, Missouri who has fun singing along to his prerecorded dance music. If James Murphy and Dick Valentine had a baby and named it Jimmy Carter, this would be Billy.
Choice Lyric: "All the sweet sweet girls are makin' dirty dirty love to all the dirty dirty boys in the sweet sweet club."
Choice Bio Quote: " Born in a greasy spoon, raised at a biker bar, and weaned on synth pop and funk, this Pilot Whale will grab your leg and won't let go until you're either dancing or dead."
Works: After a beer or two.
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Only to remind yourself what it's all about.
Pilot Whale (2)(myspace)
Who? Cookie-cutter-sounding Orange County Indie Rock band. Formerly called "My Compatriots."
Choice Lyric: "Don't want to be another mechanical robot that rusts and falls to its knees."
Choice Bio Quote: "Pilot Whale is ready and eager to share their music to world with utmost sincerity and passion."
Choice Band Member's Girlfriend's Blog Quote: "This is what a very small portion of the world has been longing for since the day they thought the music scene just about lost its soul. Music is going to be real and powerful again after a long awaited generation has missed the truth about the heart of music."
Works: So far, ninety seconds of promo tracks on their myspace.
Should You Bother Remembering Them? I don't know if there's room on the planet for two bands called Pilot Whale. I don't know if there's room for one.
Pink Dead Whale (myspace)
Who? One-person Ontarian dance music. Feels a step slow to me, which could be either the caffeine in me or the Canada in the tunes.
Choice Myspace Blog Quote: " I get called dead pink whale a good portion of the time anyone says the name but I really don't understand why. Dead pink whale hardly makes sense."
Works: Streaming tracks.
Should You Bother Remembering Them? "This whale is dead, for now."
Prints of Whales (myspace)
Who? Pun-wielding UK hootenanny throwdown.
Choice Lyric: "Listen up people, here's another shit song."
Choice Myspace Quote: "Putting the 'O' back into Cuntry"
Works: Very, very occasionally.
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Not while on this side of the Atlantic.
Said the Whale - This City's a Mess (mp3)(buy)
Who? Vancouver quintet that makes amiable, tuneful, but slight indie rock. At least they shift styles. The song above songs like cut-rate BSS, they have a New Pornosish song, they have stuff with more kick and bounce. "Camillo (The Magician)" has an agreeable chug. The two male leads alternate songwriting duties, and I haven't the heart to look into which is responsible for the ones with the miserable lyrics. They sound like sweet kids, but if you're going to write anything like "I've got love handles but I can't handle love," then you deserve all the scorn the world can summon.
Choice Lyric: "That's where the art comes out, that's where the truth of the heart comes out." And that's where the bamboo goes in.
Choice Bio Quote: "Call me Ishmail."
Works: Islands Disappear (Hidden Pony, 10/13/2009), Howe Sounds/Taking Abalonia (Hidden Pony, 2008), assorted EPs
Should You Bother Remembering Them? I think I heard it thusly: Their early songs were all hometown affairs, the new record's songs were written around Canadian towns they encountered while on tour. And I was about to say something like, "Yesterday, Vancouver. Today, Canada. Tomorrow, the world?" when I remembered that I have actually seen this band. I have listened to their two records about five times this week, and I just remembered that now.
Maybe they should just be satisfied with Canada.
Band might be more memorable were they to give "the Whale" something to say. Like "FART!" "Fart," Said the Whale. "FAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRT!" There. Remember that.
Sail a Whale - See You Inside (mp3)(via)
Who? Swedish electronic duo. Likes: Kaleidoscopes, making reading recommendations, mystery, m83.
Choice Interview? Quote: "Most of our personal mythology comes from dreaming. But you already knew that."
Works: So far, two downloadable songs, three videos. Japanese 7" tk.
Should You Bother Remembering Them? It's pretty stuff, but right now they're probably best known for a remix of a song by some guy who's gone through three Tapes/Cassettes names I've managed to forget.
Selfish Whales (myspace)
Who? Shortbus eight-person indie folk group from Indiana University illustrates just how easy it is to rely on bowed instruments and communal yelping. Too embryonic to earn my ire, but there you have it. I don't even know who to blame, anymore. Holy crap, Noah and the Whale is listed among their "influences." Shit's happening exponentially, anyone got a harpoon?
Choice Lyric: "I wrote a song, yeah, this is my song. It's only got five chords, you can probably play along. And I play guitar, yeah, as far as you know. 'Cause the notes all work and the rhythm does flow. Here I am, making music... singing about myself, thinking about myself, talking about me."
Choice Myspace Blog Quote: " We just wanted to tell you that we're in our basement right now setting up to record something! It doesn't smell the best, but it IS free!"
Works: Demos, live recordings.
Should You Bother Remembering Them? What happens in Dogpatch should stay in Dogpatch.
Simien the Whale - Re-Energized in a Man's Life (mp3)(buy)
Who? Lite-funk duo from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Named after a misheard Rusted Root lyric. They have covered Kriss Kross' "Jump." You will wish they hadn't.
Choice Lyric: "Time and time again she floated, assisted by helium, ran a course right through the shadows to merge to a line of Freon." Or something like that.
Choice Bio Quote: " An ode to the lovable losers and journeyman socio-philes in this world, Tory SPeterson and Zach Guy have encouraged the inclusion of wallflowers and would-be prom kings and queens through their mix of indie/alternative and break-beat rock."
Choice Interview Quote: "Maybe Simien exists, y'know, maybe he waits tables in West Palm Beach, Florida, and he's just trying to make some friends in the world. And, you know, he doesn't really shave every day, and really likes Highlights magazines, he hasn't grown up all the way. Just a journeyman sociophile... and then we kinda made up friends for Simien... He does lead a lonely life."
Works: 1982 (2008)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Whatever. Unrelated philosophical question: Say the existence of The Spin Doctors caused some deceased set of musicians to start rolling in their graves. And then, say The Spin Doctors all died and were buried together (BFFRIP), and some band came along that made them start rolling in their grave. Would the two sets of rolling corpses cancel each other out? Or aggravate a fault line? Or make the water in Australia start draining clockwise? This is important, people.
Sleep Whale - Josh Likes Me (mp3)(buy)
Sleep Whale - Cotton Curls (mp3)(preorder)
Who? Ambient group out of Denton, Texas. Used to be called "Mom." Their EP (stream) provides intensely pleasurable electro/acoustic background music; the two tracks released from their forthcoming full-length err towards less fulfilling psychedelic pop.
Choice Lyric: "There's magic in everything."
Choice Myspace Quote: "beep blip boop... bowed guitar"
Works: Houseboat (Western Vinyl, 11/2009), Little Brite EP (Western Vinyl, 2007)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? If this is your thing these could be your guys. But I thought this town was supposed to be giving us Satan's Fingers and The Hospital Bombers.
TokyoSexWhale (myspace)
TokyoSexWhale - 10 Minutes (mp3)(buy)
Who? Femme-fronted hard rock trio from Ottawa sorta named after the former South African anti-apartheid activist. Points for not promoting themselves with leering photos of their lead singer. The song above is about Astro Boy.
Choice Lyric: "Now you're a bad hangover. Memory of a headache taking control."
Choice Bio Quote: " Audiences looking for a "wall of sound" will be ecstatic after experiencing a TokyoSexWhale show...Guaranteed."
Choice Myspace Band Pic:
Choice Band Blog Quote: " We had our first jamz in about 3 weeks and it was rockin'!!! JP had his gypsy foot was in full effect, Yogi's amps were functioning, loud and he tried some move that he saw somewhere that was quickly dismissed as "emo" (we love you Yogi!), and Julia was rockin' her new black hair despite the battery in her Fulltone dying. She rectified the situation by just plugging in her BigMuff which did the trick just fine."
Sad Myspace Factoid: Apparently, myspace.com/tokyosexwhale was already taken .
Works: Feed the Beast (Last Drag, 2007)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? A memorable band name is one of the few things these guys have going for them...
Tokyo Sexwhale (myspace)
Are you fucking kidding me? (Sexwale seems to have also inspired a fake blog.)
Tokyo Sexwhale - A Shot in the Dark (mp3)
Who? Surfjazzfusion four-piece from Ann Arbor determined to jam all o'er yr nuptials.
Choice Variation on a Theme from an '80s Detective Show:
Are you fucking kidding me?
Bet they're dying to go Post-to-Post with moe. side-project Ha Ha the Moose.
Choice Bio Quote: "Tokyo Sexwhale was born a child of nostalgia, quickly outgrowing it's diapers to don the jumpsuit of a true rock band. Sharpened by the whetstone of improvisation, this four-manimal sets out to make surf rock relevant again by injecting its putrid corpse with liquefied adrenal gland."
Works: Not yet. They do have a shirt.
Should You Bother Remembering Them? I've made an appointment at Lacuna and am prepared to pay whatever they ask.
Tommy and the Whale (myspace)
Tommy and the Whale - The Next Twenty Years or So (mp3)(buy)
Who? Nashville resident Tommy Hans and three other guys who may rotate through each others' bands. Like Noah and..., these guys have scored a car spot; song above comes courtesy Toyota. ("I didn't know you could make money playing music until that happened," Hans said.) Professional, casual, neutered music. A fresh coat of beige paint on an already beige wall. Sometimes brightened by horns.
Choice Lyric: "I open my mouth, no words are coming out."
Choice Bio Quote: " In a city of regurgitated pop-county-CCM-boy bands, Tommy and the Whale have fought back by simply being there and letting the music speak for itself. They have already established an impressive resume that includes shows with some of the 'coolest' bands around these days."
Works: Shoot for the Moon (Esperanza Plantation, 2008)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Who?
Vulture Whale - Tote it to Cleveland, AL (mp3)(buy!)
Who? Alabaman bar band takes heed from Westerberg and Twain, rocks out all over stylized, colloquial lyrics. Too good to remain a personal favorite. "What Do" might well wind up the best-written song this year, it's that good, you bet.
Choice Lyric: All of them. "Honey, you're really something, you're confusing me so nice. The reflection in the bottle lives inside." "You can bend it with mischief." "I'll let you know when you need old lady shoes." "I get excited when a nun rolls up her sleeve." "Lord in Heaven help us 'cause Momma killed a rebel, don't let it ruin our vacation. She swears she didn't mean it, he never saw it comin', let's act like nothing happened." "Whenever praying's back in season, so are guns." "Drink a beer, make yourself at home, can I get anybody... a beer?" "We were drunk while we were married a week and we both had us a farmer's tan, I like rock songs, hey baby baby yeah."
Choice Bio Quote: " Like the Mud Shark and the Rock Lobster before it, Vulture Whale is quickly making a name for itself in rock's rich taxonomy."
Choice T-Shirt Design:
Works: Vulture Whale (Skybucket, 2009), Vulture Whale (Ol' Elegante, 2007)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? You don't have much choice in the matter. Because I will remind you about them again and again until you learn to do it for yourself.
Wale - The Opening Title Sequence (mp3)(full mixtape)
Wale - The Kramer (mp3)(full mixtape)
Wale (feat. K'Naan) - Um Ricka (prod. Mark Ronson, samples Amadou & Mariam, Fela Kuti )(mp3)(full mixtape)
Who? Maryland/D.C. rapper (born Olubowale Victor Folarin) with a cleverness that extends beyond similes. So good at substantive work that it's disappointing when he settles for anything shallower. He's been releasing mixtapes, singles ("Dig Dug, Shake It," "Nike Boots") and remixes ("W.A.L.E.D.A.N.C.E." etc.) since 2005; his first studio album -- guests include Rihanna, K'Naan; producers include Mark Ronson, TV on the Radio's Dave Sitek (whose tracks include "TV in the Radio," um) -- comes out next month.
The Seinfeld-riffing Mixtape About Nothing -- still available for free download -- has some impressive stuff.
Choice Lyric: "Everybody's shooting, there's really nothing to aim at."
Choice Critical Quote: "Wale has more crossover appeal than weed" - Rolling Stone
Works: Attention: Deficit (Allido/Interscope/Roc Nation, 11/2009), Back to the Feature mixtape (2009), The Mixtape About Nothing (2008), 100 Miles & Running mixtape (2007), Hate is the New Love mixtape (2006), Paint a Picture mixtape (2005)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Yes, whenever he's not overconcerned with correcting you about his name. (It's Wah-LAY.) But if you're going to make a video with Lady Gaga, and you want people to remember you, wouldn't you get her to dress like a titanium platypus or something?
WALL-E (myspace) - Animated robot, digs Streisand musicals.
Whale (fan myspace)
Who? I'm straying outside the current pod to show them up: This is the best band here. Horny Swedes worked with Tricky to make a triphoppier Garbage, production-thick heavy-riffed rockers overflowing with personality. Best known for "Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe," though the guitar line from "Pay for Me" was go-to commercial bumper music throughout the late 90s. Currently inactive.
Works: We Care (Virgin, 1995), All Disco Dance Must End in Broken Bones (Virgin, 1998)
Choice Lyric: "You hobo humpin' slobo babe! Get it off, get off, get off of me!"
Choice Myspace Bio Quote: " The sleepy fjords of Sweden, land of saunas, Abba and Volvos. Who could have guessed that among these tranquil pastures and majestic peaks would arise a new force. A force so huge, so all-consuming, so terrible that it would come to be known as Whale."
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Unforgettable.
Who? Motor City Libertarian offering "political satire comedic pop" from North Hollywood. More protest singer than Capitol Steps. Home page has links to The Declaration of Independence and The Bill of Rights.
Choice Lyric: "I'm an American, I'm buying Chinese junk, I'm an American, damn that NAFTA bill is bunk."
Choice Bio Quote: "Bend over and take it like an American. At an early age Whale hit the road as a vagabond troubedor and itinerant film worker."
Works: Here in America (Fiat Lux, 2006)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? You should remember the goddamned First Amendment, that's what you should remember.
The Whale and the Wave (myspace1 AND myspace2)
The Whale and the Wave - I'd Put U and I Together (She Said I Feel Like Jersey (mp3)(more)
Who? Megagoggled emo-inspired singer-songwriter based out of Florida. Specializes in lyrics so vague they're barely there. Should probably drop the guitar and start writing horoscopes.
Choice Lyric: "I think I'm done and you have just begun to become what you've become. It has begun. So write it down and figure it out." I mean, wow. There's like an endless stream of that stuff. "It's time I say just what I think. And it's time to think things out before I speak. And it's times like these that we really live our lives." I shit you not.
Choice Bio Quote: " I write songs of hope, of love, of heartbreak and of remembering a time when nothing mattered but being a kid and having fun. I began playing guitar and writing songs at the age of 15 and have played in numerous bands along the way. I intend to play music until the day I die and anyone that knows me can tell you that it is my life."
Works: The Sound (2009), various EPs
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Remember what?
Whalebones - Blood Bank (mp3)(via)(buy)
Sidebar: WHALEBONE. There are at least three bands called "Whalebone." A "rootsy...funky... folky" instrumental acoustic trio in the UK (site, myspace); a pysch-blues band from either New Jersey or New York (Choice myspace quote: "we're gonna change our goddamn name"); and a "Pro-Whaling Power Metal" act from Hull (myspace). Whalebones (myspace) is - was? - a Seattle group that has/had some pretty good stuff! Stompy stoner rock that doesn't get out of control, nice hippified harmonies. Song up there rocks, effingly. Whalebone Farmhouse (myspace) is a Worcester, Mass. blues duo. Whalebone Jackson (myspace) is a Rhode Island-based R&B/Blues lark. Whalebone Polly (myspace) is a UK female folk duo.
Whale|Horse (myspace)
Who? One of the many, many offshoots of legendary-in-circles Chicago ska-punk band Slapstick. Dan Hanaway's project seems (based on two whole streaming myspace songs) less punk or emo than many of those formed by his ex-bandmates (Thursday, Alkaline Trio, The Lawrence Arms) or even others he'd previously put together (The Broadways, The Honor System). This is full, odd-signatured rock with surprising bursts of melody.
Choice Lyric: "We were born of so many different worlds... Keep it moving on, let this one die..."
Choice Critical Quote: " Great name for a band and a great logo of a horse head attached to a whale body." - Billy Zero, The Radar Report
Works: Count the Electric Sheep EP (Self-released, 2006)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Asterisks to afterthoughts.
Who? Let me answer your question with this question: What would you say if I told you there were a pair of white MCs from Seattle who rapped over The Lion King soundtrack?
Whale Shark - The Lion King (mp3)(more)
Me too! I would say that too! We should be friends.
For their first two records, "Mix Master" Andy Metz (who calls himself "the best hip hop artist alive") and Andrew "Smoke Ninja" McClure also got Ferris Bueller all over "Jaws," "The Godfather" (with guest P. Riddy), "Jurassic Park," and "Cléo from 5 to 7." Their take on "Harry Potter" (also featuring P. Riddy) is so fucking wizard. "Star Wars" they recorded. Listen, you will.
Whale Shark - Star Wars (mp3)(more)
Let's hope George-THX hears this and digitizes us up some Chapter VII: Another Fucking Jedi forthwith'nshit.
Those seeking authentic Puget sounds need look no further than Whale Shark's most recent opus, the "70 minutes of pure sickness" that is Across the Ave. (It is available for free.) There's some earnest love for their hometown, some standard-issue boasting, and a song called "Panther Rage" that employs the Harry Mancini theme. It's better than the Soundtrack stuff. It could always get worse.
Whale Shark - Rock Seattle (mp3)(more)
Choice Lyric: "It don't matter that we won't make a dollar wont even make a penny, no, we keep on droppin' beats."
Choice Bio Quote: " We combine intelligent/meaningful lyrics with a whole new style of music. Our sound is a powerful mix of soulful root hip hop combined with a splash of something new."
Works: Across the Ave (2007), The Soundtrack II: Representin' Deep Blue (2006), The Soundtrack (2004). All self-released and available here.
Should You Bother Remembering Them? For the record, a whale shark is a shark, not a whale. Which doesn't matter for our purposes here, but it's good to know.
Whale Tooth (myspace)
Whale Tooth - Marlboro Beach Bonanza (mp3)(buy)
Who? More Canadians. Bouncy Toronto indie rock; Elise LeGrow's mannered, jazz-inf'd vocals make the band more interesting or more annoying, either of which is better than base-level adequacy. Somehow they're better when they slip into angular post-punk on what seems to be newer material...
...though that might only be because we're in-between waves of that. Still, okay little number.
Choice Lyric: "Don't you think if I could do much better I would? Maybe if you'd give me just one chance I could. In light of the circumstances, well, I think you should."
Works: Whale Tooth EP (Self-released, 2009)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? Passable.
White Whale (myspace)
White Whale - The Admiral (mp3)(buy)
Who? Kansan indie-prog outfit that featured an ex-Get Up Kid and a former Butterglorier.
Choice Lyric: "We were holding to our candles too tight and it went out."
Choice Bio Quote: "Call me Ishmael. Or don't. That's entirely up to you."
Works: WWI (Merge, 2006)
Should You Bother Remembering Them? You worked so hard to remember them just three years ago, didn't you? They were on Merge! You really wanted at least one of The Get Up Kids to go on and do something special! And you've already forgotten.
You missed Bloated Whale Decapitation. :D
Ooo, that's a good one. Thanks. I'm sure I missed bunches.
You also missed "Whale Show," a folk/blues band from Baltimore.
I did! Will look into Whale Show, thanks.
A band called Whale Fall formed in Atlanta over the last few months. It's
an indie-rock outfit that includes former members of the Silent Kids and
Luigi. No MySpace page yet.
There's also a Denton, Tx band called Sleep Whale (formerly Mom). They're
definitely worth checking out. http://www.myspace.com/sleepwhale
I forgot - but now I remember! Thank-you!