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Hahaha Your Band Name is Long and Awkward and I’m Going to Make Fun of It (Again)

« H E » Nothing Matters but the MUSIC :: email

posted 10/03/2006

Hey, guess who’s playing Sputnik tonight?

The Tears, Prayers, Fond Remembrances, Replacement Parts, Gun-shot Speech, Obscure References, Unconvincing Alibis, Constant Preoccupation, Unassigned Possessives, Stolen Weeble-Wobbles, Earrings, Unfortunate Sentiments, Half-Eaten English Muffin, Prime, Riddle, Book, Sage Advice, Days, Nights, Needs, Needs, Sprockets, Bitter Tears, Purple Rose, Mysteries, Holistic Detective Agency, Unparallelled Adventure, Revelatory Insolence, Evolutionary Hallucinations, Unfunny Final Film, Damaged Frontal Lobes, Near-Pardon, Private Life, Perfect Canvas, Ruby Yacht, Unspoken Appropriations, Love Song, Ballad, Sin, Half a Tablespoon, Exhausted Lovers, Discarded Spouses, Cardboard Living Quarters, Torn Pages, Sonic Deception, Obstreperous Inclinations, Interminable Driving Shots, Talons, Plummeting Influence, Unpronouncable Acronym, Self-Defeating Title, Playful Verbosity, and Assorted Baked Goods of, Respectively, Arthur Digby Sellers, Arthur Digby Sellers (again), Antiochus Wilson, Eli Whitney, Theodore Roosevelt, Perry Wright, Brigid O’Shaughnessy, The Occasionally Employed, No One in Particular, Kevin Smith (but not that Kevin Smith), Madame de..., Callard and Bowser-Suchard, Constant Sorrow, Miss Jean Brodie, The Sphinx, The Month Club, Loren Visser, Molly Dodd, Molly Dodd (again), The Many, The Few, Spacely, Petra von Kant, Cairo, Pittsburgh, Dirk Gently, Hans Pfaall, Howard Beale, Max Renn, Richard Henry Sellers, Phineas Gage, Samson the Sadducee Strangler, Sherlock Holmes, Gully Jimson, Omar Khayyam, Dodge Lile, J. Alfred Prufrock, Cable Hogue, Harold Diddlebock, Baking Powder, Milton Berle, Elizabeth Taylor, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Mark Foley, Jack Foley, Yours Truly, Abbas Kiarostami, Weng-Chiang, Carlotta Valdez, The Tears and Prayers of Arthur Digby Sellers, This Here Blog Entry, Harlan Ellison’s “The Wine Has Been Left Open Too Long and the Memory Has Gone Flat,”and William Entenmann (myspace)!

The opening act is called The Lisps (myspace).

Yeti has the details.

If someone with a lisp were to pronounce that first band’s name, it would sound something like: “The Tearth, Prayerth, Fond Remembrantheth, Replathement Parth, Gun-thot Thpeech, Obthcure Referentheth, Unconvinthing Alibith, Conthtant Preoccupathion, Unathigned Pothethiveth, Thtolen Weeble-Wobbleth, Earringth, Unfortunate Thentimenth, Half-Eaten Englith Muffin, Prime, Riddle, Book, Thage Advithe, Dayth, Nightth, Needth, Needth, Thprocketh, Bitter Tearth, Purple Rothe, Mythterieth, Holithtic Detective Agenthy, Unparallelled Adventure, Revelatory Intholenthe, Evolutionary Halluthinationth, Unfunny Final Film, Damaged Frontal Lobeth, Near-Pardon, Private Life, Perfect Canvath, Ruby Yacht, Unthpoken Appropriationth, Love Thong, Ballad, Thin, Half a Tablethpoon, Exhauthted Loverth, Dithcarded Thpoutheth, Cardboard Living Quarterth, Torn Pageth, Thonic Detheption, Obthtreperouth Inclinationth, Interminable Driving Thoth, Talonth, Plummeting Influenth, Unpronounthable Acronym, Thelf-Defeating Title, Playful Verbothity, and Aththorted Baked Goodth of, Rethpectively, Arthur Digby Thellerth, Arthur Digby Thellerth (again), Antiochuth Wilthon, Eli Whitney, Theodore Roothevelt, Perry Wright, Brigid O’Thaughnethy, The Occathionally Employed, No One in Particular, Kevin Thmith (but not that Kevin Thmith), Madame de..., Callard and Bowther-Thuchard, Conthtant Thorrow, Mith Jean Brodie, The Thphinx, The Month Club, Loren Vither, Molly Dodd, Molly Dodd (again), The Many, The Few, Thpacely, Petra von Kant, Cairo, Pittthburgh, Dirk Gently, Hanth Pfaall, Howard Beale, Max Renn, Richard Henry Thellerth, Phineath Gage, Thamthon the Thadduthee Thtrangler, Therlock Holmeth, Gully Jimthon, Omar Khayyam, Dodge Lile, J. Alfred Prufrock, Cable Hogue, Harold Diddlebock, Baking Powder, Milton Berle, Elizabeth Taylor, Jean-Michel Bathquiat, Mark Foley, Jack Foley, Yourth Truly, Abbath Kiarothtami, Weng-Chiang, Carlotta Valdeth, The Tearth and Prayerth of Arthur Digby Thellerth, Thith Here Blog Entry, Harlan Ellithon’th “The Wine Hath Been Left Open Too Long and the Memory Hath Gone Flat,”and William Entenmann (mythpace)!”

Thank God the opening act isn’t called “Pig Latin.”

Also: The Mountain Goats’ John Darnielle (apparently some sort of low-level deity, now) recently declared the Bowerbirds “The Best Band You Haven’t Heard Yet.” Those ‘birds (myspace) are in town, at the Sidewalk Cafe, playing the second of a two-night stint. Hurry! They’re on in, like, 25 minutes.

tags: tears and prayers lousy band names