It's Time to Actively Pity Conan O'Brien

Friday!  Quick-hit thoughts of the week!  QUICK-HIT THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK!

1.  Whatever Brains - Gross Urge (mp3)(buy)

BAM!  Whatever Brains (myspace) is a Raleigh, North Carolina band called WHATEVER BRAINS.  That automatically qualifies them to be AWESOME, but this song - along with a lot of the rest of their Trim-Jeans and/or Gross Urge Plus Ten CD-R  - qualifies them to be DOUBLE AWESOME.  I'm more comfortable thinking of them as traditional lo-fi punk than as part of the current reverbed-up shit-fi tsunami, but I'm probably just fooling myself there.  The song below, which comes in at a blessed sixty-one seconds, might sound a whole lot like a song I've already forgotten from The Intelligence (whom I prefer to think of as art-punks than as part of the current reverbed-up shit-fi tsunami, but I'm probably just fooling myself there).  But that song probably sounded like a billion awesome others, anyway.  PILE IT THE FUCK ON.

Whatever Brains - Village Sewer (mp3)(buy)

A slowed version of "Village Sewer" at the end of the CD-R -- which you can (and should) order for four dollars American I kid you not by Paypalling the band through their myspace -- clarifies that the sewer is overflowing "with love and caring and friendship."  I think.  Their Neutral Milk Hotel cover is awesome, their Double Negative cover is awesome, their Donovan cover is acceptable.

I should probably mention that I first saw the name WHATEVER BRAINS over at Pop Jew.  Because I did!

2.  The Intelligence - The World is a Drag (mp3)(buy)

Which isn't to say The Intelligence (myspace) should be forgotten or anything.  When I caught them at the In the Red CMJ showcase a couple years ago they suffered from a serious case of flop sweat, but I'm told they have gotten better since.  I still like their third record, Deuteronomy, best -- though it's been hard to keep up with the onslaught of material.  They're not as bad as far as that stuff goes as Thee Oh Sees, but I really wish bands would refrain from releasing every single thing they've recorded.  Count slowly to five before you press a 7" and maybe the urge will go away.  As a consumer and fan, sometimes it's better just to step back from the mound of releases and wait for the good stuff to cry out for attention.  DON'T PILE IT THE FUCK ON.

3.  What is Gwen Stefani doing to these dogs?!  I pay my Science Taxes and expect them to go towards protecting me from things like this.  Awoooooooo!  Also:  Awwwwwwwwww.

4.  Rebecca Brey is the best thing to happen to sports since steroids.  <3 x 1000.

THEY ARE ALL THAT GOOD.  Some of them are EVEN BETTER.

5.  Don't mess with the keytar. (via)

Everything that was ever right with rock music and everything that was ever wrong with rock music, right there.  Shock and awe motherfuckers shock and awe.

6. One minute three seconds.

 

7.  Reviews!  Reviews!

"[Precious]is a Takashi Miike film for the Oprah Winfrey crowd... twisting human suffering into a game of unblinking one-upsmanship, feeding upon the stunned gasps of audiences: not enough that her mother just berated her and threw a heavy object at Precious' head? What if we make her fall down the stairs... while holding a newborn infant... then drop a television on their heads from above?" (via)

'Davies is at heart a miniaturist, a sensibility that the choir often blunts. In the case of "Autumn Almanac" and the suite of songs from "Village Green Preservation Society," the songs were flattened out by the choir, losing their delicacy. And too many times, the effect was like the episode of "The Simpsons" where Bart replaced the hymnal with Iron Butterfly's "In A Gadda Da Vida," only without the wit.'

"i am sorry to disagree with you but i believe that your rating was way off. yes i am a big fan of the twilight saga but if you read the books and really read the books and tried to understand Bella and her love for Edward the movie would have made more sense. if anything the movie should have gotten four stars. no i have not seen it yet but when you think about it why would all these people that show up for this movie show up if they didn't see something in the twilight Saga that others didn't ."

8.  I think this record has held up remarkably well.  I'm remarking!

9.  It's hard to gauge just how creepy this is because I can't get past the Gandhi t-shirt:

10.  I do not understand how Taylor Swift has a deal to write greeting cards and Edith Zimmerman does not.

11.  This:

"One thing that has happened is that an Elvis impersonator has started working out at my gym. He sets the elliptical machine to zero resistance and receives phone calls and has conversations. It turns out he is trying to get in shape for an upcoming 50s Elvis appearance. Now, when I go to the gym and he's not there, I will maybe unenthusiastically jog on the treadmill for a few minutes and maybe go back home. Sometimes he smells like beer. I thought for a second that I was the one who smelled like beer, but I'm pretty sure it was him."

12.  "Shipley recalls how it took several years to win over Ed McCoy of the Big Mack label (another Eccentric Soul release). "That wasn't even to do with his 1960s experiences, it's from British soul collectors coming over in the 1980s and buying up records for $5, and then he finds out later they're being sold for a thousand bucks each. At the same time, when you're negotiating with these guys, you have to scale back their expectations. We never over-promise, we're always clear that a Cadillac isn't in their future. But McCoy is always seeing his music appear on TV these days. Thirty per cent of our business is licensing things on TV shows or in advertising."

and

'"Soul culture was like the DIY scene in indie rock today." Every region of the US had about 100 independent labels doing soul and R&B during the 1950s and 1960s, he says. Many would have liked to get on to the national stage but were either too regional or too ethical (they wouldn't do payola to get on to the radio). All this musical overproduction is a boon for reissue labels.'"

So very sorry that I decided I have to stop going to shows right before the Numero Group Soul Revue at the Music Hall of Williamsburg.  Oh, well!

13.  My support system would BLOW YOU AWAY.

14.  Look, it's a shame Conan does not have the easy charm of a Craig Ferguson or the easy awfulness of a Jay Leno.  There are a billion mitigating factors - NBC is in free fall, the network has devalued its late night schedule by diluting it, and Letterman's "scandal" (remember that?) scored his Late Show a rating higher than anything NBC had in prime time - but O'Brien's lost FORTY-SEVEN PERCENT of the audience Leno carried in that same time slot.  I feel bad for the guy, but it might be time to make him the first-ever fired Tonight Show host.  The desperation he tries to project as part of his shtick has been revealed as a sad fact and that's an uncomfortable thing to watch.

tags: conan  

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