Ladies and Gentlemen: Introducing Konono N° -8.57

Wow.  I am now more aware of malaria than I ever wanted to be.

(Clearer video at CNN.  But don't worry.  You'll see this 300 million times over the next 24 hours.  Coming soon to a high school gymnasium near you.)

*

Speaking of going through motions and all that, did anyone catch American Idol Gives Ford and NewsCorp (owners of FOX and myspace) Back Their Charitable Contributions Through Product Placement, last night?

I'm all for charity(*) - goodness knows most of the remaining Idol contestants should consider their continued presence on the show just that - and I'm thrilled tens of millions of dollars (or however much is left after Murdoch takes his cut) will be going to buy medicine and food for suffering Africans and "emotional care packets" for something-deprived American children.(**)  And I'm not even going to complain that the show sucked, because even though I couldn't stand to watch that much of it (What is this "Il Divo" and can we start raising funds to have them taken out?) what kind of charity greenback does the average episode of Bones raise?  Ends excuse means, here, because the producers didn't have to do any of this.  So, y'know, yay.

Also, it was pretty awesome seeing Jeff Beck on American broadcast television during prime time.(***)

But it's tough to buy the honest goodwill and emotional sincerity of a Simon Cowell.  I get that he's supposed to make footage from Africa less anonymous.  Hey, there's someone we know.  Doing something.  But our liaisons all felt like tourists or opportunists (Howdy, Madge!).  When I'm dying in my squalid little apartment, please: Seacrest, out!  The stars' presence tempered a brutal piece on a family whose members were suffering with AIDS.  I went from tearing up to thinking about this:

(Best thing Bono's done since "Until the End of the World.")

Another place where reality should have trumped celebrity harder:  A series of talking heads were asked how many funerals they'd attended.  The first few famous folk all said "one" or "two."  Dame Gwyneth Paltrow upped the ante considerably to "seven" and started rattling off the dead.  (Tom Cruise followed with "eleven" but got less screen time.  Will Ferrell was not included.)  Eventually, of course, we got to a non-celeb from Africa.  190.

And more than anything in the whole world, I wanted him to look into the camera and say, "In your face, Paltrow!"

You can still donate here.

(*) Even though I dated a girl named Charity, for a while, and she was an ungrateful bitch.  But I'm not going to hold that against Africa.  Much.

(**)  Among other things, I know.  But when $10 can buy enough medicine to save the lives of four African children, and $25 can buy a sketch pad and a box of crayolas in the U.S, it's sort of tough not to reassess the value of each little waxy stick, no?

(***)  And The Monster at the End of This Book got a cameo, too!

tags: george w bush  african anteater ritual  have you had your shots  american idol  idol gives back  

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