Accept No Superstitions

If outside-today is anything like outside-yesterday - and a message in my cherry (flavored) Pop Tart planted by the the League of Upper-Atmosphere Prognostication implied just that - then you best drop all concerns about the economy and global health oinkage and the rapidly deteriorating situation in nuclear-armed Pakistan.  The only thing you need worry about for the next ten hours or so is what height-of-Spring music should come blaring out the windows of your office/home office/car/cardboard box.

Worry no more!

The forward-thinking Goldilocks Study conducted at Northwestern University's Center for Awesomeness and Other Bodacious Shit in 1987 under the auspices of Dr. Professor K. Hümmeljinger set out to find the perfect Spring album.  It exhaustively measured scientific stuff like frontal lobe activity, digital nerve vasoconstriction, naughty bit engorgement, the variable speed and altitude of subjects' gait.  Scientific stuff.  And their conclusion was that you could do no better than the 2002 album On by Imperial Teen (myspace).

It's goddamn EMPIRICAL.

LET ME GET YOU STARTED.

Imperial Teen - Ivanka/Baby/Sugar (mp3)(buy)

That's the first three songs, shucked together for your convenience into one block of single-click easy-access excellence.  And there's much much MORE!

(Hümmeljinger went on to note that, while there would be excellent stuff all over Imperial Teen's first two albums, they would get a little too angsty at times for the study's purposes.  And that the band's fourth would have an awful title and would be maybe too middle-aged comfortable.  His paper also warned of the coming of a song about suggested oral contact through a telecommunicative device, how this song would set airwaves on fire, grow tumors on your soul, inspire parents to violently murder their offspring, etc.  But nevermind that!  It's lovely out.)

tags: imperial teen  

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