Some Things Just Aren't Worth Saving

So do we embrace rap, anymore, or just rap parodies?  This, from this week's Flight of the Conchords - HBO you're so cutting edge - is at least three years old (this version's pretty sharp).  It adds some dancing and a verse, so I guess that's okay.  More listenable than Lady Sov.

Also:  "Perchance."  I'd listen to more hip-hop were there a higher likelihood of running across the word "Perchance."  Somewhere other than the zillion YouTube vids featuring white suburban kids doing high school projects on Shakespeare.

"Unsex me now!"  Redundant.

That's not what we're here to talk about.  We're here to talk about The Goo Goo Dolls.  Or, really, how some people have been able to make something wonderful and life-affirming out of something as soul-sucking as The Goo Goo Dolls' music.

A while ago, a comedy troupe (I know, your eyes are glazing over already...)  made a video (meh) in which they teased a friend about his GGD fanhood.  The video elicited, along with the usual YTish hate mail, a response and a backstage invite from the Goos' drummer.

The follow-up video has a couple good laughs.  It's ten minutes long, and seven months old, but you're looking to kill just about that much time before bolting out the door.

But THAT's not the wonderful, life-affirming bit, the tragedy-turned-into-comedy thing.  THIS is:

I don't like to use the word "genius," often.  And I certainly won't here.  But thank goodness we live in a world where people - especially fifty-year-old Goo Goo Dolls fans - feel unguarded enough to expose themselves in such a way.

Speaking of shit:  I like my toiletry simple.  A roll of paper, something to read, hand soap.  I'm not a complicated guy.  There's no call to make a whole musical production out of it.

The Japanese are fucked up, we all know this.  But the idea - if you stayed to the end - that they're using wall-mounted musical devices to encourage their children to poo... well, that's just the sort of Pavlovian response that should have pranksters pumping "Pa-Pa-Pants Man" over public P.A. systems in ten years' time.

Now that you've set the mood, how do you further enhance The Defecation Experience?  Smiling Ass Billboards in Times Square (and Radosh guest-blogger Kevin Shay) pinch their noses and point us towards the Toto Washlet, where happy=clean.  AND YOU CAN NEVER BE HAPPY ENOUGH.

The Washlet is more than a combination bidet/heated toilet seat.  It's a lifestyle!  "I never thought my toilet could be an oasis of comfort and happiness," declares one testimonial.  One of the company's smiling, multicultural spokesfolk (Chris Matthews?) says "What's ordinarily a pretty ordinary [sic] task is turned into an opportunity to refresh yourself, to restore yourself... Do what you came to do, then reach for the remote!"

It's an opportunity for very empty people to fill their lives - and clutter their bathrooms - as they empty themselves!

The Goo Goo Dolls - Bitch (Rolling Stones cover)(mp3) (buy)

tags: goo goo dolls  scooter libby  washlet  flight of the conchords  

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