Very Close to, if not actually in, the CD player:
seen/heard ° listen ° buy
seen/heard ° listen ° buy
Cigarettes, Alcohol, and Pepsi
(If there's one thing the holidays are all about, it's suffering. That's why, like a hopeful tot on Christmas Eve, I've been watching my RSS feed for an update from the fantastic-but-dead Musical Fruitcake. "A collection of the worst Christmas songs ever created," the blog might not be the gift that keeps on giving, but it ain't broke: All download links seem to be intact.
Grab yourself some nog and cozy up to tune-free kid singers, celebrity crooners (Lorne Green! Charo! Max Headroom!), historical whooznots and lurid misfires. John Denver's "Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas" is a personal favorite - it's funny cuz it's true! - but the country weepies about orphans for whom Christmas won't come are all a hoot.
It doesn't get any better-worse than this:
Suzannah - Mom and Daddy Please Don't Steal for Me This Christmas (mp3) (via)
"That's not our car, Mom! Someone just left it open." The genius here is that whoever wrote the hee-hee lyrics ("At least you could've changed/the tags to our own names/but then I remember/neither one of you can read") got some earnest tot to warble them. There's just so much meaning! "Your love is all the Christmas that I need!" Also: Hey, hands off, have-nots!
There's so much more: "Here Comes Peter Cotton Claus?" "Christmas in My Pants" ("Jesus was a groovy got, too bad he got so hot!"), "Santa Claus Looks Like My Daddy," "Santa Claus, The Original Hippie" ("He can take a trip without LSD!"), "Santa Lost a Ho," "Mister Russian, Please Don't Shoot Down Santa's Sleigh," and the dreaded "Macarena Christmas."
If you're feeling especially brave, check out - and try not to check out of - "Santa Kissed Me" ("Exciting, my first kiss from an unknown guy"). It's the Manos, Hands of Fate of Christmas Songs. I made it a whole two minutes and twenty-eight seconds in before screaming "Stop! Just, stop!" at my computer. Go on, I dare you!
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Hey, how's that new magic algorithm thingam'jobby going, Netflix?
If you liked Annie Hall, a romantic comedy in which Woody Allen takes Sigourney Weaver to see Marcel Ophuls' The Sorrow and the Pity, a documentary about a French city under Nazi occupation... you'll just love Marcel Ophuls' The Sorrow and the Pity, a documentary about a French city under Nazi occupation.
Both films do, I believe, feature cute scenes involving the throwing of something living into boiling water.
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Life Imitates Every Cops Parody Ever Made by Interrupting Life Watching Art Imitate Life Dept.:
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Supposedly this sketch of a preliminary design for the creature in the upcoming it-can't-really-be-named-Cloverfield monster stomp has been discredited as development art from some unrelated video game. But that's just what they want you to think! J.J. Abrams and Co don't want you to know that their big scary computer generated menace is really just... Blow-Hole!
The Tick - Little Wooden Boy & the Belly of Love
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(You should probably watch that whole thing. Great stuff. And it makes a fine companion peace to "Spinnolio.")
Think about it: J.J. Vatos? JJ. Abrams? Evils of Viral Marketing, your insidious plans will wither in the harsh light of box office justice!
Actually, Woody Allen takes Diane Keaton to see The Sorrow and the Pity in
Annie Hall, not Sigourney.
He takes both, I think. He takes Keaton a couple times, once when they
miss the start of a Bergman flick, and again later when they're
establishing his reluctance to do new things. But he's outside the movie
with Weaver at the end of the movie when they run into Keaton, who's
dragging her date to see it. Alfie calls it "a personal triumph."
The happiest Christmas song for kids=) "Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This
Christmas" Haven't heard it yet.
The happiest Christmas song for kids=) "Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This
Christmas" Haven't heard it yet.