When your favorite band is – in the eyes of the world, at least – a one-hit wonder, you will learn to hate That One Song.
“Bound for the Floor” – commonly known as “The Copasetic Song” – put Local H on the map back in 1996. And it’s a map that you left in the glove compartment of yer mom’s hand-me-down Civic back when you decided to go out and buy your own used car.
It’s a really good song. No, it is. It’s got a sharp, simple little riff. It builds nicely, it doesn’t overwork the grungy loud-soft-loud thing too hard. If the pacing seems regular and uninspired, that’s of a piece with singer/songwriter/guitarist Scott Lucas’ usual themes of failure, suburban frustration, underachievement. The riff ticks off the time; the bassline/bossman pushes it forward, riding riff’s ass (this is a two-person band, guitar and drums, but Lucas has a bass pickup built into his guitar). They’ll blow up at each other, every now and again, but ultimately they’re back at the same ol’ same ol’.
Lyrically it’s repetitive. Like every fucking day of your life.
The zeroes at the center of Lucas’ songs may never let themselves add up to much, but they’re not as dumb as everyone thinks they is. The fluidity of that little guitar solo around the 2:25 mark is there to let you know this guy has something more to offer; that’s also the obvious reason the song keeps dropping the four-and-a-half dollar word that’s come to represent it. But whatever vocabularic ambition “copasetic” lends gets nullified by insults and pounded into the routine. The song’s refrain – “You just don’t get it, you keep it copasetic and you learn to accept it, you know you’re so pathetic” – phonetically pummels away with the ultimate sound of indifference: Eh. You jEHst don’t gEHt it... copasEHtic... accEHpt it... pathEHtic. It’s a clever way to shrug and spit at the same time. It’s sort of almost-brilliant.
Yeah, I hate it.
Why? Because, as their only “hit,” BFTF defines the band. The song’s not an aberration from the catalog – it may lack the energy and profanity of a lot of their other work, but the sound and the themes... well, it’s a Local H song. If people know the band, they probably know it through that song; even if they don’t, it’s pretty much where you start talking about them, anyway. “‘Just don’t get it, keep it copasetic?’ Remember, from the 90s?” And it matters not whether people do, or don’t, know what you’re talking about, they know you’re talking about a band whose moment in the sun came during a period on which nostalgia has yet to shine. That was then, motherfucker. And if they didn’t have a second Big Smash Hit then the world must not want another Local H song, right?
I actually called Q104 one time a couple years back and got into a shouting match with a DJ who’d said, on-air, “Look up ‘One-Hit Wonder’ in the dictionary, and you’ll see a picture of Local H.”
But the album BFTF comes from, As Good As Dead, is far less consistent than the band’s best work, and the single isn’t the best song on that album. (It was the second single that made me pick up the record; that one goes, “If I was Eddie Vedder, would you like me any better? That’s it. I quit. I don’t give a shit.”) Local H’s best record, Pack Up the Cats – a sort-of concept album about a small-town band that takes its act to the big city and... fails (of course) – came two years after Dead, during a major shake-up at their label; despite critical acclaim, it failed (of course) to find an audience. The band was dropped, and drummer Joe Daniels (50% of the band) bid adieu. But: Lucas resurfaced in 2002 with a new drummer (Triplefastaction’s Brian St. Clair) and the respectable Here Comes the Zoo. Whatever Happened to P.J. Soles? was easily one of 2004’s best records... and (of course) one of its most overlooked. And they’ve sneaked out the best song, so far, of 2007: “Michelle,” otherwise unavailable, is streaming at their myspace. So fuck your mom’s car’s glove compartment. Fuck the eleven-year-old single. Shit’s happening now.
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Another reason to hate “Bound for the Floor” is that the band feels morally obligated to play it at every goddamn show. I understand this. I went to see Kay Hanley (of Letters to Cleo) last year and she didn’t play “Here and Now.” I mean, c’mon. So I understand. But should I see the band a lot – and I saw them seven times in 2004 – I’m going to hear that song seven times. Should performances become rare – they didn’t play NYC in 2006 – then a slot that could go to any one of their other songs is going to be wasted on BFTF.
I’d gotten to the point where I pretty much never wanted to hear that thing ever again.
Until that 2005 Southpaw show (which is available for free download). I’ve never seen a bad Local H concert, but that one was something special. The poor turnout seemed to energize Lucas. You can hear it in that song. Jesus, if I’m sick of BFTF, think of how he must feel. And he’s sleepwalking through this. It feels like an obligation. But when the room responded snoozily, he – “C’mon fckrs!” – upped the energy a billion percent. The album single’s a self-contained trap. Live, under normal experiences, The Old Standby has a radio hit’s built-in catharsis: Phew, I know this one. I can sing along. This is the song I came to hear. I knew this would happen, and now it’s happening. I love it when a plan comes together.
But when the crowd fails to take the easy bait, Lucas has to rediscover his hero’s denial and desperation. And his self-hatred: The goal here is to get the crowd to scream about how he doesn’t get it, how he’s kept it copasetic, how he’s learned to accept it, how he’s so pathetic.
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What made me start thinking about this – I’m not trying to make this a H-centric blog, honest – was this:
Hey, remember to keep it “Copasteady!” Awesome. It's kar'oke, now.
And that’s another reason to hate “Bound for the Floor.” Actually, that there might be three or four more reasons to hate “Bound for the Floor.”
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Not that Lucas isn’t capable of putting a big black Maker’s Mark of his own on the song. As I said: I’ve never, ever been to a bad Local H show. But this very atypical version – also from 2005 – found him in a bad place. Chemically, geographically, maybe spiritually. I tacked on the set intro at the beginning; pretty much the best thing you can say to endear yourself to a crowd is, “Are you fucking kidding me? Who booked this shit?”
WARNING: This is really, really, really bad.
You can download the rest of that concert here, but I really, really, really don’t suggest it. Sending that one out to our delicate flower, Anna Nicole. Why - O, Lord, why - couldn’t it have been that Hilton trollop instead?
tags: local h anna nicole smith
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